


Amidst the Nothing, a Mirage

by Nefaria_Black



Series: To Live in the Shadows [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Belladolphus, Canon Era, Death Eaters, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fic, Relationship Issues, Smut, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 02:10:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nefaria_Black/pseuds/Nefaria_Black
Summary: After another mission in the service of the Dark Lord, the Lestranges face their troubled relationship





	Amidst the Nothing, a Mirage

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts and Challenges listed at the end  
> Warnings: lemons and smut lie ahead

**Amidst the Nothing, a Mirage**

 

_Castle Lestrange, February 1973_

They lingered in each other’s arms, in the warm light from the fire raging at the hearth, bodies mostly under the covers to fight the cold. Skins made golden by the flames. They were sated, content.

They had come home after interrogating an Auror to the verge of madness. They had only stopped short of insanity because he had yielded. That had left them on the brink of completion. Their job was done, their mission accomplished, but something was missing. Lacking. So they had written a small note to the Dark Lord, one that stated only that it was done and that they would report to him whenever he deemed to summon them, and locked themselves away in their bedroom.

They had watched the sun go down in the reprieve from their love making. Then they had showered together, to rid their bodies of the day. Rodolphus had washed every inch of Bellatrix’s skin, massaging her back, kissing her collarbones, latching his mouth to the curve of her neck, kneading the flesh of her breasts until she hummed with need again. He had stopped then, and Bella had washed him in turn, teasing him with every movement, every look, every lick of her lips. She had gotten on her knees, the wicked creature, and washed him thoroughly, and left him panting as she walked from the shower, dripping, while he hummed with desire.

The third time had been voracious and hasty, but the bliss and the exhaustion that followed was exactly what they needed. Completion.

He was musing on the thought of ordering their dinner to bed when Bella purred as she nestled further into his chest, her still damp curls spread over her pillow. She laced her legs with his and started drawing patterns on his skin with her fingers, as he drew patterns down her left arm. He had lowered his eyes from the night, past the window, to the darkness of her gaze, and she held the darkness of his. Rodolphus right hand came up from the covers to hold her chin and tilt it up, and he revelled in the sight of her heavy-lidded eyes closing in anticipation of his kiss.

He kissed her for a long time, rolling on top of her so that he could pin both her wrists to the mattress with one of his hands. His other hand set to travel the pale expanses of her body, careening lower and lower until he found her mons. He kept the heel of his hand pressed there, not moving, until she groaned into their kiss, pleading, and then until she hugged his waist with her legs and churned her hips, demanding. He moved his fingers to her already soaked folds, plunging two fingers into her and trapping her clit beneath his thumb. Bellatrix broke their kiss, gasping for air, moaning wantonly, loudly, just as he liked. He took the chance to ravage her neck and her shoulders, kissing, and sucking, and biting, marking her as his, despite knowing better. He worked her womanhood until she was on the verge once more, and then kept her there for long minutes, stopping and changing his ministrations every time he felt her almost snap. When he himself was on the edge, he released her hands, entered her swiftly, with a moan to compliment hers, and started moving in earnest, deep into her.

She bit him as she came, driving her nails into the skin of his back and dragging them to his bottom, marking him as hers, as he truly was. And that drove him off the cliff, grunting, struggling to keep his weight on his elbows and not collapse on top of her. Exhaustion.

Then they coiled their limbs around each other once more, gathering their bearings while in the cosiness of each other’s skin. Rodolphus took a look to the tall mirror by the corner, and pretended once more that he was the only man to ever hold a golden, sated Bellatrix in his arms. He kissed the crown of her head and murmured into her curls.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured back, already drifting into slumber. Unaware of just how significant her adding of “too” really was in that moment.

“Indeed. Too.”

Bella raised her head from his chest, and he did not whether he wanted that void on his skin or whether he resented it. She blinked several times, shaking her head in confusion at his biting tone, at the harshness in his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“You know damn well what I mean, Bella! Too! Too! It will never be just us, you will never love just me!”

She recoiled from him, kneeling on the bed, covering her nakedness with her arms and looking away from him.

Rodolphus felt like bashing his head into the wall for being so stupid as to bring the matter up. For being so stupid as to think that he could remain angry at her, when she sat there, on her calves, naked and golden and covered only by the luxurious cascade of her inky curls, as broken as he was.

For her love for the Dark Lord broke them both. It broke her every time Lord Voldemort sent her on her way with the assurance that he did not love her. It broke him twice as much, however. Once when she walked to the Dark Lord so willingly, so bright-eyed, and another time whenever she returned, giddy or wrecked, it made no difference, because she always came back still the Dark Lord’s.

“I love you. Tell me that’s enough!” It was a desperate plead, but one that would only do more damage.

Her eyes provided all the answers he needed. He was not enough, his love was not enough. She craved the love of something higher, something unobtainable, but still something only she could ever hope to reach. Bellatrix was a Black, raised to not settle for anything but the best. He would be the best, were it not for their Master, so clearly superior in all things. Including her affections.

Nothing. That was all there was left for him to have. Nothing. For one cannot have a piece of starlight, only the star in its entirety. But only a great wizard could ever hold a star, and Rodolphus was not it.

There were silent tears on her cheeks as she moved to leave their bed and cover her body with her dressing gown. And that Rodolphus definitely resented. With a voice as broken as they were, he told her, begged her not to go, to come back to bed. She looked over her right shoulder, and the tear track over her cheekbone shimmered in the flames.

She walked back to him without as much as thinking about it, curling her body into his side, holding on to his waist for dear life. He released a breath he did not know he was holding, because she was back at his side, back in his arms, were he wanted her, at all times. Because even if she was not his, he was always better by her side.

“You deserve so much more than what I can give you,” she murmured into his skin, drawing patterns again, “I’m not worthy of your love.” He could feel one of her tears carving a path on his skin, burning with her sadness.

“Don’t ever say that again, Bella. You are the worthiest of it.,” he turned to face her, as she looked up from the crook of his neck, “you are the only one for me.”

The glaze that came over her eyes then was all he could ask for. There was love in that watery glaze, even if it was not the only love in her heart. He resented that bitter thought, but a place in her heart was all he had ever craved since they were fifteen. He could share. He could share that precious water in the oasis. He knew that he should not, he knew that one day, sooner or later, the Dark Lord would shut him out, deprive him of water and watch him dehydrate while he bathed. But she had given him hope with her eyes, and so he kept running towards the mirage, deeper into the unforgiving desert of her affection.

He needed this star to point his north, he needed this she-warrior to survive the war. Even if the one true star in his night sky would guide him into doom at the end. Even if the mighty warrior would slay him too. And she needed him, albeit differently.

For he loved her, and that was enough. For she loved him. Too.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t go without a review, please.  
> Prompts and Challenges:  
> Muggle Art Task 1: Write about a private and poignant moment between lovers (inspired by Gustav Klimt's The Kiss (Lovers))  
> Creative Collection Challenge: Pairing - Bellatrix Lestrange; Angsty Dialogue - You deserve so much more than what I can give you  
> Jewel Challenge: Kunzite Bracelet - Write a fic set in the evening  
> Caffeine Awareness Challenge: Cappuccino - Write a story using only two characters  
> 365 Prompts Challenge: (95) Dialogue - "I love you. Tell me that's enough!"


End file.
